Being a father to Miles
Being a father these past 16 (almost 17) years to this great young man has been incredible!
He has made it an easy ‘job’ for sure; with his kind and compassionate heart, his genuinely humble and generous ways, his ability and interest to work on himself in order to grow and evolve, his sense of humor, his dedication to never judging anybody ever and how he moves through the world in this very relaxed and grounded way; he’s just a good dude and I love him dearly! He has and continually teaches me so much, it has not been a one sided ‘let me show you how it’s done or how it is’ kind of relationship, I watch him, LISTEN TO HIM and take notes all of the time:) Communication has been the key, just as in any relationship, but it really has been crucial to our successful relationship thus far.
Being as open and honest with him in difficult moments, letting him know that I too am trying to figure it out, that I have not ever been in this situation (whatever it is or stage we were in at that moment), that I am NOT ALWAYS RIGHT, IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE MY WAY BECAUSE I AM THE ADULT. Instead, the approach has always been, let’s discuss this you and me (or his mama) and figure it out together in the best way we can.
Let’s be honest, let’s have some humility and humor, let’s not judge or criticize, let’s remember that life can be challenging and we all make mistakes; more than anything let’s operate and communicate from the heart, from a place of pure love and let’s do our best to work through this moment and come out on the other side stronger and with more clarity❤️
I feel with this overall approach (only real way for me) it can’t help but foster deep trust and love. What I also think and believe fosters or cultivates within him as he’s growing and figuring it all out is accountability, trust and empowerment; getting in touch with his internal council so to speak, his deeper self, that place he can check in with when it’s time to make a decision, a tough peer pressure moment or any other life situation that requires some ‘checking in’, ‘is this the right thing to do’ and ‘how does this affect my day, week, life etc’✌️👌
Being a parent is not easy nor is being a kid growing up trying to navigate and figure everything out while everyone is telling you one thing or another, do it this way, no do it that way … I remember so clearly being a young boy and teenager and all that it came with! Because I remember and know how difficult and overwhelming it can be, I will always parent with patience, kindness and most of communication! If I practice all of these qualities as a father to my son, I will be doing right by both of us; and setting him up with good skills to move into adulthood with!